Roads To Success 10

Ron and Cristy Varela (continued)

Turning Point

Ron and Cristy found themselves in a challenging and often disappointing season of life.  The business they had worked so hard to build together no longer existed in the form they had known it; the business was there but on a much smaller scale.  No longer owning their own equipment, they would lease what they needed in order to complete the jobs that came their way.

Certainly not helping the situation, Ron was still drinking, and the drinking caused stress between him and Cristy.  There was tension and there were arguments, and the marriage frequently stumbled over rocky ground.  But the couple had been together since their teenage years and something kept them holding on.

The situation was about to grow worse, and it began at a party attended by Ron, Jason and Jennifer.  Ron, particularly, was enjoying the party.  “We’d have a drink, he’d have a double, or he’d have two doubles,” remembered Jason.

“I specifically said to him, dad give me the keys,” Jennifer added.  “Let me drive you home.  But he insisted on driving himself home.”

Ron wouldn’t listen, climbed into his car and headed home.  On the way he fell asleep at the wheel and struck another car.  Fortunately, no one was hurt but Ron ended up spending the night in jail.

The accident and the jail experience were traumatic for the entire family but it was also the beginning of an important course change.  “It was a tough moment but a good moment for us because I think it was a turning point,” Jason explained.

Ron realized that he could have been injured or killed, or even worse, he could have killed someone else.  The accident and jail experience became a giant wake up call.

Admitting that he did nothing in moderation in life, Ron decided he would stop drinking.  At the time of his interview in 2006 he had not had a drink in over ten years.  According to his family, the changes in him didn’t happen overnight but they did indeed happen.

Daughter Jennifer indirectly played a part in transformations that occurred in her father and her mother as well.  To help deal with some personal problems of her own, Jennifer had begun attending a local church.  Ron and Cristy accepted their daughter’s invitation to attend with her.  For Ron and Cristy, the experience would be dramatically life changing.

I asked Ron and Cristy what they gained from attending church.  “Well, we started to realize that we had to have faith and trust.  We just realized that we can’t do it all by ourselves,” was Ron’s response.

“It took us a while to understand what it meant to be saved,” Cristy told me in a recent correspondence.  “We first knew we had a relationship with the Lord in 1997.”

The Varela family took their initial exploration of Christianity seriously.  They asked questions, attended Bible studies and visited a variety of churches.  The effort fed their commitment, they grew to understand what it means to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, and their faith grew stronger.  That faith was soon tested when Cristy was diagnosed with breast cancer in 1998.

“A lot of things go through your mind,” Cristy remembered.  “You wonder if you’ll live.  You wonder if you’ll see your family again.  You don’t know what’s next, what God has in mind for you.”

Jason Varela observed that the crisis caused his mother to truly rely on someone else.  “I think that’s when she started to turn to Him for support in her life,” he said during his interview.

“I just depended on my family and I depended on God and I really prayed a lot,” Cristy explained.

Jennifer saw the cancer crisis as a significant catalyst in Ron becoming a new person.  “My mom’s breast cancer was the breaking point for my dad, and I saw him really surrendering, and just wanting to be there for her, and just so desperately wanting her to be okay.”

Ron credited his growing faith in Christ to his transformation.  “When you start having faith you begin to realize that it’s not all about you,” Ron said.  “You start treating people the way you’d like to be treated.  You learn your priorities.  You put the Lord first, your wife and family second, and yourself third.  I had always put myself first.”

“He just has a softer way about him,” described Jennifer.  “That’s very big, because my dad wasn’t soft.”

Thinking back on those days of transformation Cristy recalled, “Over time he [Ron] became more patient, more tolerant, slower to react.  He was less angry, more giving, and more prayerful.”

There were decisions to be made, extremely critical decisions that would ultimately determine Cristy’s future health.  Ron and Cristy knew they would make these decisions together, and this time they were absolutely certain that God would guide them in the process.

© 2011 Philip Kassel