Roads To Success 5

Ron and Cristy Varela (continued)

Youthful Courage

As sixteen-year-old expectant parents, Ron and Cristy faced the overwhelming aggregate of emotions, stresses, judgments and opinions that accompany most teenage pregnancies.  Cristy’s mother was upset and even angry.  Her birth father didn’t really have anything to say about the situation while her stepfather advised her to handle it however she wanted.  Ron’s parents were rightly concerned about the state of affairs but were also tremendously supportive.

At that time, abortion was illegal in most of the United States so, fortunately, it was never suggested as a viable option.  Well-meaning family and friends strongly advised Cristy to have the baby, and then immediately put the newborn up for adoption.  It made sense.  Ron and Cristy were juniors in high school; they were young and inexperienced.  They didn’t really know what it meant to have, care for and be responsible for a family.  And of course there was the cliché, even if it did carry a fair amount of truth, “they had their whole lives ahead of them.”

The general opinion leaned profusely towards adoption and Cristy was beginning to believe that it was, indeed, the path to follow.  “We weren’t going to get married at first.  I was going to have my baby and the baby would be adopted,” Cristy explained.  “And we really didn’t understand the alternatives; what it would be like with adoption.”

But Ron resisted the onslaught of advice.  He loved Cristy and was serious about his commitment to her.  It saddened him to think about permanently parting with a child he would have with Cristy.

“I think it broke his heart to be talking that way,” Cristy related during her interview.  “So we started talking about, do you think we can get married; do you think it would work if we got married?”

“You can’t just give up,” Ron stated emphatically during his interview.  “It’s too easy to give up and too many people are giving up.”

Looking back at that tumultuous season in their lives, Cristy explained her husband’s position.  “Ron pretty much didn’t want to be a failure in that area.  He wanted to show that he could be responsible and take care of me and our baby.”

So, Ron and Cristy chose marriage.  Initially, none of their friends and family agreed with the decision.  But once that decision was made a lot of people began pulling together to help them.  “Ron was a member of the YMCA at the time.  His friends at the Y collected enough money to pay our first month’s rent,” Cristy related as just one example.

None of it was easy or uncomplicated.  Due to their status as minors, getting married was not a straightforward matter.  “We had to go to court to get a court order to get married,” Ron remembered.  They were still juniors in high school when the marriage took place.  Their baby daughter, Jennifer, was born a little over two months later, seven weeks early.

It is important to note here that Ron and Cristy Varela do not advocate that any unmarried couple have a child together, and they particularly do not advocate that a teenage couple do so.  “I would never recommend that a sixteen-year-old couple become involved in a way where a baby would result,” Cristy stated during her on-camera interview.  Ron added, “But if the circumstance happens you have to understand it’s going to take a lot of work, working together, and a lot of understanding.”

Choosing a life together with their new baby daughter meant making some radical life changes.  Ron was active in the high school wrestling, track and football teams.  He had to give up those activities but was able to complete his junior year in high school.  Cristy was not allowed to continue attending regular classes but managed to complete her junior year.  “I had a tutor that came to the house that helped me finish the eleventh grade in my own home,” Cristy related.  “And then our senior year we finished in adult education and got our diplomas.”

© 2011 Philip Kassel